


Bonding Exercises

by excogitation



Category: Witch's Heart (Video Game)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Pop Culture, ashe doesnt deserve to have anything, chatfic, im also bad at nicknames, lets just assume they have phones, rouge really just wants to die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 12:56:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15171218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/excogitation/pseuds/excogitation
Summary: Wilardo (today at 3:06 PM)cmon siri why not have a little funSirius (today at 3:07 PM)...:)Claire (today at 3:07 PM)Im so scared(Claire receives messaging devices from the demons with the only instructions being to "have fun". She then proceeds to create a group chat, and get everyone roped into her hijinks. Nothing new.)





	Bonding Exercises

**Author's Note:**

> all communities are REQUIRED to have a chatfic. im only fulfilling the requirement (with glee)
> 
> modeled after discord

_Claire_ (today at 11:43 AM) added _Receiver 2_ , _Receiver 3_ , _Receiver 4_ , and _Receiver 5_ to the chat.

 

 **Claire** (today at 11:45 AM)

Hi everyone!! :DD

Since for _whatever_ reason we can’t use our phones, I thought this was a good alternative!

I was SOO lucky that these were still working.. If any of you break yours I have extras!!

 

 _Receiver 3_ (today at 11:52 AM) changed their name to _Ashe_ ** _._**

 

 **Ashe** (today at 11:52 AM)

Great idea Miss Claire!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is just one other way to make sure everyone stays safe… I, for one, approve!

What are the other uses of these devices?

 

 **Claire** (today at 11:54 AM)

Oh its SO cool we can talk to each other in group chats like these…

… or you can private message other people!

Lemme show you wait a sec.

 

 _Receiver 2_ (today at 11:56 AM) left the chat.

 

 **Claire** (today at 11:56 AM)

.

 

 _Claire_ (today at 11:56 AM) added _Receiver 2_ to the chat.

 

 **Claire** (today at 11:57 AM)

HEY

You can’t leave that easy!!!!!

 

 **Receiver 2** (today at 11:57 AM)

i dont even understand why we need to use these

we are literally a room away from each other

 

 **Claire** (today at 11:58 AM)

Oh word is that you Wilardo?

 

 _Claire_ (today at 11:58 AM) changes _Receiver 2_ ’s name to _Wilardo_.

 

 **Claire** (today at 11:58 AM)

Heheh

Thats better!

 

 **Wilardo** (today at 11:59 AM)

still dont get why we need this chat in the first place

 

 **Claire** (today at 11:59 AM)

>:(

 

 **Ashe** (today at 11:59 AM)

Well, if I may interrupt…

I believe Miss Claire’s intention was to make communication easier for us.

Especially in case of an emergency!

 

 **Wilardo** (today at 12:00 PM)

hmm

well i guess that does make some sense

sure. ill go along with this

 

 **Ashe** (today at 12:01 PM)

Great!

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:01 PM)

Yaaaaaay :DD

Since Noel is asleep rn, the only one left is Sirius

 

 **Ashe** (today at 12:06 PM)

Miss Claire.

I believe you were about to show me the other features of this chat!

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:07 PM)

OH

Yeah! Lemme show you.

 

–– ♡ ––

 

 _Claire_ (today at 12:08 PM) added _Ashe_ to a private chat.

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:08 PM)

Like so!

 

 **Ashe** (today at 12:08 PM)

I see!

Interesting!

 

–– ♡ ––

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:09 PM)

Besides private chats, you can also be in multiple chats at once!

Im currently the admin so I can add whoever I want to the chat. No one else besides the admin can do that….

And uhhh I think thats it.

 

 **Ashe** (today at 12:10 PM)

This is a great alternative to our phones! It is indeed very similar...

I wonder though- where did you get them?

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:12 PM)

Ah.

Its a funny story actually!

 

–– ♡ ––

 

 _Claire_ (today at 12:10 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:10 PM)

HOW DO I EXPLAIN HOW I GOT TJE RECEIVERS

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 12:10 PM)

LOL

 

 **Zizel** (today at 12:11 PM)

Just lie to them.

Say you used to use them before you came to the mansion.

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:12 PM)

But you guys gave me so many T__T . Theres NO logical explanation why I would have that many.

 

 _Here’s Charlie!_ (today at 12:12 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Here’s Charlie!** (today at 12:13 PM)

It’s easy Claire!

Tell the truth- that you’re simply a clutz and you broke so many that you needed all those extras.

lol

 

 **Zizel** (today at 12:13 PM)

That would work out.

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:14 PM)

I’ll… pretend that’s a compliment. But thank you ;~;

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 12:14 PM)

WAAAAAAAAAAAIT

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:14 PM)

I’ll be sure to tell them that-

?!?!?

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 12:14 PM)

I NEED YOUR OPINION

death by being buried alive or death by hanging :3

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:15 PM)

.

Im… im just gonna

 

 _Claire_ (today at 12:15 PM) left the chat

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 12:15 PM)

awwwwwww

good ol’ claire

 

 **Here’s Charlie!** (today at 12:16 PM)

I was kind of curious to see what she would respond though :/

Rouge will definitely add her back.

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 12:16 PM)

CHARLIE

YOUR HERE

 

 **Here’s Charlie!** (today at 12:16 PM)

hi

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 12:17 PM)

WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE

 

 **Here’s Charlie!** (today at 12:17 PM)

Against someone I hate…. The slow option.

Against someone I like…. Probably the same LOL. Being buried alive

 

 **Zizel** (today at 12:18 PM)

Agreed.

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 12:18 PM)

TALKING ABOUT DEATH

anyone up for a tea party while watching the souls of the damned suffer? :3

 

 **Zizel** (today at 12:19 PM)

I’m in.

 

 **Here’s Charlie!** (today at 12:19 PM)

I’m already omw. Oh will you have those small sandwiches like last time?

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 12:20 PM)

of COURSE who do u take me for

 

–– ♡ ––

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:15 PM)

Me and my parents communicate through these a lot since technology kind of confuses them ^^;

And I kept on breaking them so I had to buy in bulk……..

But all my previous contacts got deleted :/ so its just you guys here.

 

 **Ashe** (today at 12:15 PM)

That does make sense from what I know of you!

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:16 PM)

Oof…

OH RIGHT

I FORGOT

 

 **Ashe** (today at 12:17 PM)

Yes?

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:17 PM)

I ALSO WANTED TO SAY I WAS GONNA MAKE LUNCH TODAY

It completely slipped my mind!

 

 **Ashe** (today at 12:18 PM)

Oooh Miss Claire’s food again!

I’m excited!

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:18 PM)

:D

 

 **Wilardo** (today at 12:21 PM)

do the

hamburger steak

 

 **Claire** (today at 12:21 PM)

:DD

 

–– ♡ ––

 

 _Receiver 4_ (today at 2:45 PM) joined the chat.

 

 _Receiver 4_ (today at 2:46 PM) changed their name to _Sirius Gibson._

 

 _Claire_ (today at 2:46 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Claire** (today at 2:47 PM)

SIRIUS?

Yaaaay you’re here!

 

 **Claire** (today at 2:50 PM)

Sirius?

Cmon!!!

I know youre online! I can see that you joined the chat.

 

 **Sirius Gibson** (today 2:51 PM)

…

 

 **Claire** (today at 2:51 PM)

See!

It’s easy

Also omg you don’t need to have such an official-sounding handle name.

 

 _Claire_ (today at 2:52) changed _Sirius Gibson_ ’s name to _Sirius_.

 

 **Claire** (today at 2:53 PM)

There!

We can give each other nicknames too!!!!

 

 _Ashe_ (today at 2:53 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Ashe** (today at 2:54 PM)

I believe that is a GREAT idea Miss Claire.

I’m not too sure if Sirius would be welcome to that idea…

But us two can give nicknames to the other!

 

 **Claire** (today at 2:55 PM)

I mean… don’t you think our names are already short enough?

I cant think of a nickname for you Ashe :(

For Sirius though, I was thinking of Siri!

 

 **Sirius** (today at 2:56 PM)

W

NO

I mean.

Having a nickname is _clearly_ too childish for me.

 

 _Wilardo_ (today at 2:56 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Wilardo** (today at 2:57 PM)

oh?

so you dont think having a nickname makes you more interesting?

 

 **Sirius** (today at 2:59 PM)

….Hmm.

 

 **Claire** (today at 2:59 PM)

I was thinking of Willie for you Wilardo :)

 

 **Ashe** (today at 3:00 PM)

I was thinking the same! It was almost as if you read my mind Miss Claire!

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

 

 **Wilardo** (today at 3:01 PM)

…

ill accept the nickname

 _if_ sirius accepts his

 

 **Claire** (today at 3:01 PM)

OH SIRIUS. PLEEAAASSEEE

it would be SO cute for everyone to have cute nicknames

 

 **Sirius** (today at 3:02 PM)

I’m not here to be….. cute.

 

 **Ashe** (today at 3:02 PM)

Why so sirius?

 

 **Sirius** (today at 3:03 PM)

….I know where you live

 

 **Ashe** (today at 3:04 PM)

EEK

 

 **Wilardo** (today at 3:06 PM)

cmon _siri_ why not have a little fun

 

 **Sirius** (today at 3:07 PM)

…

:)

 

 **Claire** (today at 3:07 PM)

Im so scared

 

 **Sirius** (today at 3:08 PM)

I’ll accept Siri.

It’s your turn _Willie_.

:)

 

 **Claire** (today at 3:10 PM))

…...Well!

Did everyone try the chicken?

I thought the chicken was lovely

 

 **Wilardo** (today at 3:11 PM)

heh

sure.

im willie now

 

 **Claire** (today at 3:12 PM)

:D

Yay! Were a team!

Claire Ashe Siri and Willie~

 

 _Claire_ (today at 3:13 PM) changed _Sirius_ ’s name to _Siri_.

 

 _Claire_ (today at 3:13 PM) changed _Wilardo_ ’s name to _Willie_.

 

 

 **Siri** (today at 3:14 PM)

I

didn’t agree to being a team when I accepted this nickname.

 

 **Claire** (today at 3:15 PM)

Well were a team now >:(

But see! Isnt it a lot easier to talk to each other now that I created this group chat

heheh

Mission: Accomplished ✅

 

 **Claire** (today at 3:20 PM)

Also uh

Has anyone seen Ashe he hasn’t been in this chat for a while.

 

 **Willie** (today at 3:21 PM)

saw him running scared into his room 15 minutes ago

when siri texted him

 

 **Claire** (today at 3:21 PM)

huh

 

–– ♡ ––

 

 _Receiver 5_ (today at 8:10 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Receiver 5** (today at 8:10 PM)

what is this

 

 _Claire_ (today at 8:12 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Claire** (today at 8:12 PM)

Everyone else has been identified so…

Are you Noel?

 

 **Receiver 5** (today at 8:13 PM)

Oh Yes. My apologies for not making that clear earlier

 

 _Receiver 5_ (today at 8:13) changed its name to _Noel_.

 

 **Noel** (today at 8:14 PM)

but my question still stands

What exactly is this chat supposed to be for?

 

 **Claire** (today at 8:15 PM)

OH RIGHT

You were sleeping when we talked about it

Id imagine itd be difficult to scroll all the way up after all these messages...

Basically. this is another way for us to contact each other in case of emergencies!

 

 _Siri_ (today at 8:17 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Siri** (today at 8:17 PM)

But these foolish fools have been using it for their foolish entertainment rather than any emergencies.

 

 **Claire** (today at 8:18 PM)

There was that one time with Ashe!

I think

 

 **Noel** (today at 8:19 PM)

wait

Can someone please explain… Siri?

 

 _Ashe_ (today at 8:19 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Ashe** (today at 8:20 PM)

Siri is a virtual assistant on a popular brand of phones, that when you ask her questions, you’ll be directed to the best answer.

 

 **Siri** (today at 8:21 PM)

…

 

 **Ashe** (today at 8:21 PM)

OH you meant _Sirius_ Siri ok I’m out.

 

 **Claire** (today at 8:22 PM)

Siri is just our nickname for Sirius :P

Speaking of nicknames!

… Actually nevermind I think Noel is pretty short.

 

 **Noel** (today at 8:23 PM)

That makes much more sense.

 

 **Claire** (today at 8:23 PM)

I actually have this strange urge to call you something other than Noel, funnily enough!

 

 **Siri** (today at 8:24 PM)

Hm.

 

 **Noel** (today at 8:24 PM)

Ah.

Well. Noel is fine for now.

Another thing that was bothering me was… phones?

 

 **Siri** (today at 8:25 PM)

Yes…

Phones

Did you not live the last decade or something?

 

 **Noel** (today at 8:24 PM)

…………………………

 

 **Claire** (today at 8:25 PM)

Don’t be so mean >:(

Maybe Noel lived somewhere isolated!

Right?

 

 **Noel** (today at 8:26 PM)

YES

I mean. I was, in fact, isolated before travelling to this town.

...So I won’t know what these phones are.

 

 **Claire** (today at 8:27 PM)

I can be your pop culture guide!!

Heh. Just you wait... in a couple of a days youll be able to EASILY quote Beyonce lyrics.

You may be able to surpass the Master under my tutelage, young grasshopper.

 

 **Noel** (today at 8:29 PM)

Thats a pop culture reference I understand!

I’m excited for you to teach me, Claire ^^

 

–– ♡ ––

 

 _Noel_ ❤️ (today at 8:32 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 8:32 PM)

and THATS how you properly cook a caterpillar

of course the best way to eat it is raw

but, i digress

 

 **Noel** ❤️(today at 8:34 PM)

im going to ignore that.

God claire is adorable

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 8:34 PM)

uhhhuh

we get this rant every day

 

 **Noel** ❤️(today at 8:35 PM)

But she IS even if she doesn’t remember me.

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 8:35 PM)

:/

be GLAD we didnt add her to this chat. she wouldve seen all your _awful_ pinning

 

 **Here’s Charlie!** (today at 8:36 PM)

Well aren’t You abnormally happy

 

 **Noel** ❤️(today at 8:36 PM)

Like I said. _Adorable_.

Also why did you all give Claire a new receiver for me.

now i have to carry two

 

 **Here’s Charlie!** (today at 8:38 PM)

Well.. it would’ve been too suspicious if you already have a fully customized receiver.

Don’t you think?

 

 **Noel** ❤️(today at 8:39 PM)

.______.

 

 **Here’s Charlie!** (today at 8:39 PM)

Anyways.

Since we have connection in hell… you can talk to Claire during the day.

How you manage to explain to that to Claire when you’re supposed to be sleeping, I’m not too sure.

 

 **Noel** ❤️(today at 8:39 PM)

Ok nevermind

that makes up for ALL the inconvenience

 

–– ♡ ––

 

 _Rouge_ (today at 9:00 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Rouge** (today at 9:00 PM)

I hate being in this chat.

At least Lime isn’t on

 

 _Zizel_ (today at 9:03 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Zizel** (today at 9:03 PM)

*giggles*

 

 **Rouge** (today at 9:04 PM)

Did you just.

 

 **Zizel** (today at 9:04 PM)

?

 

 **Rouge** (today at 9:04 PM)

You didn’t even reply to me using words

Just typed out an action.

 

 **Zizel** (today at 9:06 PM)

*tilts head*

 

 _Liiiiime_ (today at 9:06 PM) joined the chat.

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 9:07 PM)

OOOOOOOO

are we rping?!?

:33 < lime paws playfully at zizel's bows

 

 **Rouge** (today at 9:08 PM)

no

No.

We are, in fact, Not doing that . what the hell

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 9:09 PM)

youre no fuuuuuuun rouge!

 

 **Rouge** (today at 9:08 PM)

I’m not disagreeing with you.

but at least I know when not to be fucking embarrassing

Roleplaying clearly disagrees with my aesthetic

 

 **Zizel** (today at 9:09 PM)

It would have been interesting to see you roleplay Rouge.

 

 **Rouge** (today at 9:09 PM)

I still won’t.

Anyways.

Claire left? Again?

 

 **Zizel** (today at 9:11 PM)

Yes.

 

 **Rouge** (today at 9:12 PM)

Damn I wish that was me.

 

 **Zizel** (today at 9:13 PM)

...What?

 

 **Rouge** (today at 9:13 PM)

What.

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 9:14 PM)

just add claire back already!!!!!!!1!!!!

 

 _Rouge_ (today at 9:15) added _Claire_ to the chat.

 

 **Rouge** (today at 9:15)

And with that, my job is done. Bye

 

 **Claire** (today at 9:17)

W-W-WAIT WHY AM I BACK HERE

 

 **Liiiiime** (today at 9:17 PM)

you wont be leaving us so easily >:3

 

 **Zizel** (today at 9:18 PM)

At least not until you find the contract, Claire.

 

 **Claire** (today at 9:20 PM)

God. Just Let Me Suffer In Peace

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaand thats a wrap
> 
> i can just imagine the demons huddling over their phones and chatting w each other despite being a couple feet away from each other. rouge hates everyone (besides noel) so the fact that ppl can contact her long-distance is a giant pain.
> 
> ALSO you can still Feel noel's smiles through text. its too heavenly.
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this fic!!!! if u understood the homestuck reference You Too are cursed. if u, however, understood the aa reference,... you are Blessed (and also my new friend)


End file.
